SpaceClan
by epobbp
Summary: A Spaceballs paordy using Warrior characters.
1. Chapter 1

epobbp: Here is probably my most random idea yet. (YAY RANDOMNESS!) It will be difficult to write because of the cat/human thing, but I'm trying. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors or Spaceballs. They belong to the geniuses who came up with them.

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**Cast list:**  
Lone starr- Fireheart 

Barf - Graystripe

Princess Vespa- Sandstorm

Dot- Silverstream

Priest person- Mudfur

President Skroob- Brokentail

Dark Helmet- Tigerstar

Colonel Sandurz- Darkstripe

Rico- Barkface

Usher- Brambleclaw

Major Asshole- Scourge

Philip Asshole: Blackfoot

Bleep guy- Onewhisker

Yogurt- Tallstar

King Roland- Whitestorm

Prince Valium- Dustpelt

The Dink Dink guys- Birchkit, Smokepaw, Larchkit, Hollykit, Snowkit, Gorsepaw, Swiftpaw.

Pizza the Hut- Bluestar

Vinnie- Lionheart

Commanderette- Mistyfoot

Snotty- Whiteclaw

Marlene - Frostfur

Charlene- Leopardfur

Director person- Ravenpaw

Other characters may be added throughout the writing of this fanfic for roles I forgot.  
If you have any complaints…deal with it.

The words nowbegin appearing on the screen.

Once upon a Greenleaf, in a forest very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very…(5 moons later)…very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very…

The text gets interrupted by Fireheart who can be heard meowing, "Can you get on with it"  
Ravenpaw can also be heard meowing, "Sorry but you can't rush these things"  
Deadfoot joins the conversation while the "verys" are still going. He meows, "Yes they can look." He then presses the fast-forward button and the verys all go by in a minute.

…very far away there lived a ruthless race of cats known as…SPACECLAN! DUN DUN DUN!

Chapter 99.9999999999999999999999999999999999 (3 moons later) 9999999999999999.……..

Now the cast is really angry and yell for Ravenpaw to stop it, but then Fireheart decided to take a leaf out Deadfoot's book and pressed the fast forward button.  
"Hey why did you do that!" Ravenpaw asked.  
" Cause it was getting annoying." Fireheart responds.  
"Which is the point" meows Ravenpaw.  
"JUST GET ON WITH IT" screams the entire cast.  
"Ok ok. Jeez" Ravenpaw mutters.

…..9999

The evil, most mouse-brained….

At this point Darkstripe, Tigerstar, and Brokentail are yelling how it isn't true while Graystripe and Fireheart are laughing their heads off yelling, "It is so true"  
Ravenpaw, really angry, says, "Stop it! We are wasting film! Right Cinderpelt"  
Cinderpelt who is the camera cat responds, "We've wasted about 8 moons of film because of the 'verys' and '9s.' Can wecontinue now?"

….leaders of SpaceClan have foolishly destroyed all their precise forest by using the trees to sharpen their claws and eating more then they're supposed to, therefore destroying everything. So they have formed a secret-to-all-but-those-who-are-reading-this-and-themselves plan to steel the forest of their peace-loving neighbor ShunivindClan.

"'ShunivindClan?' What kind of a name is that!" Longtail yells.  
"It's a combination of ShadowClan, ThunderClan, RiverClan, and WindClan." Ravenpaw explains.  
"Get on with the movie!" Cinderpelt yells.

Today is Sandstorm's wedding day. Unbeknownst to Sandstorm but knownst to us, danger lurks in the paths around.

Now during this Sandstorm didn't say anything, but that was just so we can get this part over with. What she was thinking was, 'What the…. NO WAY AM I GETTING MARRIED!…Not to him anyways.'

By now the previous text had almost completely disappeared and new text came saying,

If you can read this, then congratulations, you can read English. Now your going to have to wait for the cast to stop complaining before you can read more.

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ATTENTION READERS: Some characters may be OOC and I apologize for it. 

Tell me what you think in a review!Hopefully the cast will stop complaining so I can get the next chapterout soon. It's highly unlikely though. Flames are welcome!


	2. Chapter 2

epobbp: Very sorry people! I had written half of this chapter in April...but I lost it. (not surprising) Then I have been extremely busy. I have concerts last Thursday and Friday and the Dance on Saturday and Sunday. Enough of my rambling! On to the random fic.

Disclaimer: epobbp no own anything. Not even a brain.

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In space, the ship labeled SpaceClan XXXI (or 31 if you don't know Roman numerals.) is passing by at a ridiculously slow speed.

"RAVENPAW! STOP!" the whole cast yells.

"Umm... Actually it's not me this time... that's the actual speed." Ravenpaw meows.

"What! That's so slow!" Fireheart complains.

"Tell me something I don't know." Ravenpaw replies.

"Do you know the air speed velocity of an unladdened swallow?" Russetfur says.

"African or European?" Ravenpaw counters. "Wait why are we having this discussion? Let's get back to the movie!"

Now we are inside SpaceClan XXXI and see Darkstripe standing at the front.

Barkface comes and says, "Darkstripe," to get his attention.

"What do you want? And why are you here? You're too much of a good cat to be on this ship."

Barkface flicks his tail towards Onewhisker. "Then why's he here? He's Fireheart's friend?"

Darkstripe and Barkface get into a lengthy discussion about this and the poor casting abilities of the caster (aka epobbp) until Tigerstar comes in (when he's supposed to I might add.) Unfortunately everyone is too absorbed into the conversation so while we are waiting for them to calm down we'll go see an embarrassing clip of Fireheart, Bluestar, Graystripe, Tigerstar, and various other cats doing the Macarena.

Scene then changes to said cats standing on their hind legs doing the Macarena. 20 minutes later we return to the set to actually perform the scene "properly." Now back to where we left off.

"You told me to let you know the second... I guess we can't say that anymore...ummm... within 20 minutes that...what was the name of the Clan again?" Barkface asks.

"I can't remember it either. Just call it Really-hard-to-rememberClan" Ravenpaw meows.

"Ok. You told me to let you know within 20 minutes of Really-hard-to-rememberClan being in sight." Barkface meows.

Darkstripe blinks clueless. "So?"

"It's in sight you mouse-brain." Onewhisker yells.

"Oh... I knew that..." Darkstripe meows.

"Doubt it" Onewhisker and Barkface meows at the same time.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

"So does Tigerstar know?"

"Yes I took the liberty-"

All of a sudden a bunch of Patriots from the 1700s come and begin to rant about Barkface stealing their liberty (How could he!), but since Barkface doesn't have a Twoleg to cat translator with him he has no clue what's going on.

"Ok...any who... He's on his way."

Genie begins singing from offstage "Make way for Prince Ali. Say 'Hey! It's Prince Ali.' Hey clear the way in the old bazaar. Hey you let us through it's a bright new star, O come be the first on your block to meet his eye. Make way. Here he comes. Ring bells, bang the drums. Are you gonna love this guy. Prince Ali-"

Ravenpaw steps forward and meows timidly "Umm.. Genie. This isn't Aladdin you know! That starts filming after this is over."

"It's not?" Genie then imitates an announcer at a play. "Today the part of Al will be played by...a cat?"

"Hey! if you don't have any business here then leave... Unless... (Here Ravenpaw gets a slightly evil look) you want to be co-director." Ravenpaw meows doing the cat equivalent of a smirk.

"Sure I got nothing better to do until Aladdin starts"

Now the cats try...once again to believe the actual scene.

"Make way for Tigerstar" The actual voice-Leafpaw- meows.

"All grovel in fear of Tigerstar" Darkstripe meows, then begins to cower.

Tigerstar appears wearing a mini dark helmet hat and a tie. He walks up to Darkstripe and lifts the helmet.

"Geez I can't breath in this thing! Whose idea was it to put this in the fanfic?" Tigerstar complains, gasping for breath.

Everyone points at Genie, who was about to do something else but stops and quickly puts on an innocent face. Everyone then turns back to Tigerstar to see him get an Acme safe dropped on his head. (is it obvious I'm in a cartoon mood?) Everyone, save for Tigerstar, Darkstripe, and Brokentail applauds Genie.

"Anyway. We are approaching Really-hard-to-rememberClan, sir." Darkstripe informs Tigerstar.

"Good I'll go tell Brokentail immediately." Tigerstar meows and turns to go.

"No need sir. I already called him. He knows everything." Barkface meows.

"Everything? Good now go and ask him the air speed velocity of an unladdened swallow. Both African and European." Tigerstar meows. "I want to know how good of a chance I can catch one is."

"Yes sir." Barkface meows. Then he leaves.

"...Oh yeah... I need to hurt someone!" Umm...you'll do." Tigerstar says randomly grabbing Whiteclaw. He then raises one claw that glows orangey-blue and Whiteclaw has an injury on his belly and other cats carry him to see Runningnose, who is the cat in charge of healing everyone.

"OK! So Darkstripe where is Really-hard-to-rememberClan? I don't see it." Tigerstar complains.

"That's because your looking at the sugar machine. Care for some?" Darkstripe asks.

Tigerstar then loses it. "YEAH! YEAH! SUGAR! SUGAR! SUGAR! MINE!" Then he eats all the sugar, and seeing as the machine was the size of Mt. Everest it was a lot of sugar! "SUGAR! SUGAR! NEED MORE SUGAR!" Tigerstar then takes all the sugar from the rest of the ship. Darkstripe timidly approaches him, crawling on his belly because when Tigerstar is hyped up on sugar there is no telling who he is going to shot with his orangey-blue claw.

"Sir, the princess Sandstorm will be married within the hour."

Sandstorm had to go to a soundproof room in order for us not to cover our ears at the sheer velocity of her complaints. Tigerstar and Darkstripe didn't notice this, mainly because Tigerstar is hyped on sugar and Darkstripe is afraid.

"Yeah, Yeah. So where's the CLAN?" Tigerstar yells.

"Turn around, sir." Darkstripe replies, slowly backing away.

Tigerstar turns around and looks like this O.O.

"It's so great. I can't wait until we take it over! NOW GIVE ME MORE SUGAR!"

The set is now destroyed because of Tigerstar's sugar rushso we have to end it here.

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Yeah... I apologize for the REALLY late update and poor spelling. I probably won't be able to update next week cause of finals. REVIEW! 


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